S	Sophisticated
H	Hairy
A	Astonishing
L	Little
I	Insane
N	Neglected
I	Irresistible
A	Amorous
K	Kind
H	Happy
I	Irresistible
L	Lucky

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

more spam poetry courtesy of my hotmail account. only thing i've added is punctuation - do you honestly believe i'd willingly use uppercase otherwise?

Hello Spakezarathustra!
(wiry applaud)
how r u? Is your email secure?
Enjoy automatic virus scanning protection.

paper napkin 95 lunatics
Designed Especially with You in Mind
Sexually Explicit: JAW DROPPING WOMEN
Sexually-Explicit : Busty Babes

Meet the Best dates of your life...
deficient emendable homogeneous
freckle ann arisen - diagnoses
... Dad?

there seems to be some problem with the adsl connection here at work today, resulting in our computers suddenly forming a selective memory (and, i'd like to think, an attitude problem. imagine if shalini's browser could talk - 'huh? you want to go where? nope! never heard of it! what? what do you mean i've been there before? you're calling me a liar? fine! how'd you like this 404, huh? bite me!'). oh, yes, it's official - shalini's bored. she can't access her email and suddenly needs it terribly; she begins having visions of time-limited opportunities available only once per lifetime popping incessantly into her inbox, but it'll be (*gasp!*) too late! by the time she gets to them. damn you, internet gods! damn you to hades! damn you, hyperactive mind! damn you to... somewhere else. maybe daytime tv land. i find it bizzare that i can't get to my webmail or my statcounter sites, but blogger is working okay. when in doubt (or at a loss for things to do, even), blog. it seems i have finally arrived in the world of blogging; i have been linked to by two other bloggers who seem to like my stuff (strictly literary-ly, of course). i will add links to their sites as soon as i am able; i should change the links page to incorporate 'blogs i read', as there are a few i like to keep checking in on. lately this one has been keeping me amused. hats off to him for his honesty, and his creative use of the english language, i say.

i have four assignments to hand in by the first week of june. two will be painless, one will be moderately painful, and one may require nurofen (or herron blue if i'm in a patriotic mood). hmmm. this weekend i might buy a bike - mark's enthusiastic cycling has inspired me to try this idea of 'excercise' for myself. he's still alive, so it can't be that dangerous. as research for one of my assignments, i have to get some bollywood dvd's from the local shop, so that should be a barrel of laughs. might be time to stock up on indian groceries, too, and maybe some cd's... i always end up mega impulse buying when i go to those shops. if the shopkeeper is an older indian person, i never know whether to speak in hindi when i'm there just in case they aren't actually indian, so i always end up speaking english but with an indian accent (even though i'm not even from india), and all my sentences are either incomplete, or grammatically incorrect. and yes, sometimes i might even do the patentend indian head wobble, but i swear it's (scarily) involuntary. it's like an out of body experience - i even smell different when i come out. that's because every indian shop (in the world, i'm sure) is so packed with spices that you practically absorb them the minute you step in.

i'm feeling restless, restrained and restricted. the three r's. i feel like a firecracker just itching to go off. i feel stretched and taut and ready to spring, i'm just waiting for a small flick, an ill-timed word, a weird glance to set me off. i want something to happen, and i want it to happen now. but i know - if anything is to happen, it should happen of its own volition; pushing and pushing till something gives is never as satisfying as you start out thinking it will be. i feel pushed though. i feel like i've been meting out bits of myself for ages. when i started, i had a system - i'd calculated how long i could do it for without running too low on stock. i'd factored in the usual losses - time in transit, general damage, shoplifting. i'd also assumed that a new shipment would arrive and replenish my depletions. but it hasn't. the ship i'd assumed would set its course on me when i started this game doesn't seem to want to dock in my port. the shipment i'd been depending on never came. i've had to hand out more and more, regardless of the 'do not go beyond this line' warning signals, maybe even in spite of them. i'll have to build my own ship and sail out to get the stock myself. or build a huge bridge and get over it. which i will, i know, eventually - but right now, i just ain't in a constructive mood. now, it all just makes me tired, and prone to explosion.
so don't say i didn't warn you.

two posts in as many days. special! or maybe it's more down to the fact that i'm procrastinating yet again. hmm. let's go with option number two, shall we?
i got my non-fiction assignment back yesterday, managed to score a d in that too (but only just). actually, after i made my last post here, i made the fatal mistake of turning on the tv - and what was on? 'death of a cheerleader' starring none other than the queen of crap herself, tori spelling. i had a real hard time wrenching my eyes away from the screen and back to reality, and i am ashamed to admit i actually considered staying in and watching it at the risk of turning up to uni a little late. as it turned out i got to uni an hour and a half early and did some actual work before class. now i wish i had've taped it...
i have to get my act together (literally) for monday night. yesterday morning i woke up and did a routine to my favourite audience of all - the one on my head, that is - before i got out of bed. hence i forgot to tape or time myself. i tried doing it again this morning, but i just felt like a bit of an idiot. maybe i should see if the kittens think i'm funny. it's a bit ego-crushing though, whenever i go into the backyard and say 'hi! how you all doing tonight?!' they take one look at me, then turn around and run for their lives. maybe i should use a can of cat food as a microphone.
okay - enough silliness. time to get back to writing. byebye!

yay! bright and shiny and bushy tailed (hey, 11.30 is early for me on a uni day, okay?), today i will go to the library and try and find me some delicious morsels of reading pleasure for my tram ride out to burwood. i am such a square, excited because we might be getting assessment tasks back in class today. i got a distinction for my first editing assignment which was a relief, it was a tough one but a great challenge. do you know the difference between a hyphen, an em dash and an en dash? well, after getting my assignment back, i realise neither do i.
my brother has been in hospital since sunday night (for those of you familiar with the akhil clan, it's the brother who used to run a restaurant). they still don't know what's wrong with him, and are taking blood for testing out of one arm and pumping antibiotics into the other. he can only move his index finger and thumb on his right hand; the rest are all curled into his palm, immobile. they think it's some sort of virus and are keeping him under obs until they can make sense of it. poor baby :(
i have a standup spot at the local in st kilda on monday night and am quite looking forward to it - it's been a while since i got up there. rod quantock is mc-ing that night - should be fun! now that sex and the city is off air, what's your excuse? come along if you have nothing better to do.

it's been a while since my last entry, and i think that's mainly because i've been feeling a tad braindead for a while. but last night i felt that fading, so it's all good. now, together with fellow comedian tanya losanno, am planning for fringe and maybe even comfest. if all goes to plan, i'll be very busy toward the end of the year - a possibility of involvment at the melbourne fringe, then the hello kitty tour. ooh! something to look forward to, and occasionally stress about. also found out yesterday that good friend and comedic trail blazer nelly thomas is off to perth for a month, having been offered a drive-time radio gig there. how cool is that?? and she's just off the comedy festival roadshow, too (and i mean that literally - she did her last gig two days ago in bendigo) - what a deadset legend! to tell you the honest truth, getting that news was so exciting and motivating, made me want to get right back into standup. so i am! i have a gig at the local (carlisle street, st kilda [between chapel st and brighton rd]) next monday night, may 17. i must get over the fear of doing the same material over and over, cause if i don't, how else am i going to hone it? i've also got to write a short article for the local paper, *and* i want to get started on my second novel.
it's official, people - she's back in the saddle again!