quick update (cause i couldn't let today go by without writing something in here) - i went and saw 'mean girls' yesterday. alone. at 2pm. surrounded by pre-pubescent girls and a few obviously-out-to-impress-the-girlfriend-because-i'd-never-be-caught-dead-watching-this-chickflick-otherwise hormonally charged boys. verdict? not a bad piece of cinema. lindsay lohan could well be the new molly ringwald. oh! have i gone too far? you be the judge. watch it and tell me what you think.
so, that only leaves 'new york minute' on my 'research' list. i bought who weekly the other day to read about mary-kate's anorexia. what i found disturbing (apart from the fact that i parted with money for the tripe) was that, while the cover and the story were all about her anorexia and how she was suffering because of the eternal have-to-be-perfect hollywood type mindfuck, they also featured a little picture of her further on in the magazine under the title of 'brunette is the new blond - some hot chicks to aspire to' or somesuch guff. no wonder the poor girl's confused.

what the..?
there must be something in the... lassi.
a year after i came up with my idea, about six months after i wrote the story that gave birth to her, a week after the story got published in meanjin, and a day after i get a proof from a friend of mine of my own hybrid-heroine, i see that indian spider man has arrived.
hmmm... i wonder if he's single? maybe we can set them up!

wow, seven whole days between posts. who's been a busy girl then?
lots and lots of things have been and are set to happen in recent times... where shall i start? went to the meanjin launch, which was interesting. it wasn't the most comfortable evening of my life, but it was interesting all the same. saw harry potter and shrek2 (i loooove-love-loooove puss in boots). met with a chick who is writing a screenplay at the moment and wants to use me as a sort of 'script advisior'. my lovely husband turned 31 yesterday. then today, i had an interview and lined up a second one for next week. got my first assignment from a new writing gig that should be fun. got an email from a friend with a wicked drawing he did of a new super-hero character i've created with the view of making a batch of zines based around her... and something else is happening that i'd rather not actually put in writing at the moment. after i got home today i sat here and just went 'woah, so much shit is happening at the moment', and decided to calm myself down by watching some afternoon telly. caught adam spencer on wheel of fortune - what a crackup! he's probably going to win everything and then steve oemcki (sp? should i buy another vowel?) will be out of a job - not sophie though, cause there's always room on television for one more blonde amazon. speaking of which, two movies in theatres at the moment i have a feeling i will end up going to watch alone - 'mean girls' and 'new york minute'. what can i say? it's been a while between chick-flicks. 'the o.c.' is back on telly and looks set to fill the 90210-shaped hole in my soul, though it shits me that channel ten is promoting it like they didn't already show the first five(or so) episodes in the off-season... tonight, though, i have all that i need right here. it's freezing outside, there's lamb curry in my belly, and green-tea ice cream in the freezer. noice.

okay. so it's wednesday and the buzz from monday night's performance has well and truly worn off. i am now officially in the pits... maybe a sugar hit will carry me through till about 4pm, at which point i will atttempt to kill the first person that irritates me (ie the first person that does so much as breathe within a ten mile radius), then burst into tears. hmm... did someone say chocolate? i watched the tail end of rove last night and just caught the 'roving with rove' section. this goth boy told rove that he always fantasised that if he ever met rove, he'd like to take his lunch money and give him a wedgie. rove actually let the guy give him a wedgie. and it wasn't a polite wedgie either - it was funny as. probably the best thing i've seen on rove in a while! going to the meanjin lauch tomorrow night so hopefully that will lift my spirits. i am so woe is me that i am boring myself with it. i briefly contemplated hypnotherapy to cure my smoking and curb my obsessive tendencies, but if i didn't obsess, would i do anything? ie write, perform etc? and so now look at me. i'm obsessing at the thought of not obsessing anymore. last night i stressed myself to sleep with visions of having a large family dinner at my house. when i finally did nod off, i had one of those teeth-falling-out dreams again, but this time instead of my back teeth crumbling to a pulp, it was just the two of them at on the top, front row centre. and it happened just before i had to get up on stage to do my routine. oh, what does it all mean??? if you have any theories, share them.
in the meantime, spampoem four has arrived.

last night's gig at the local was the best fun ever. crowd was ace, and my set went off. i took some risks - tried a couple of new jokes and new angles i'd been thinking about lately, and one i was too chicken to say the last time i was up - and they all seemed to work alright. got some lovely, ego-boosty large laughs and came off stage feeling like i'd slain a very large dragon. rachel berger is the best mc a girl could ask for - after the show i caught up with her and she is very supportive and down-to-earth. last night was also very important because it was the first time all four of us - tanya, geraldine, vanessa and myself - got together and shared a stage. we all have diverse styles and on-stage personalities; our fringe show is going to be unreal! i was really nervous about meeting them all for the first time, i was envisioning spice-girls-esque animosity to spring seething under the surface - but none of that happened, we're all as well-adjusted as chick comedians can ever hope to be, and we're all raring to go with an edge of nervosity. i know that's not a real word, but i like it. another made up word i like is 'hilarify', or 'hilarification'. just thinking about those words makes me smile. they always envoke mental imagery of some sort of possession by outragously amused spirits, causing the possessed to lurch about uncontrolably, laughing so hard that tears squirt projectile from their eyes. hilarificatious!

it's official! i'm in the next issue of meanjin. yay!
in celebration, here's a nes spampoem for ya.

whew. so. i've finally finished my assignments for semester one, due later on today. by later on i mean a lot lot lot later on, like after i've had a sleep and a few dreams and a shower later on. i had four things to finish off and am quite happy with two of them. that's better than not being happy with any of them at all is how i reckon. tomorrow night i will finally nut out the whole fringe festival thing, and work out once and for all whether i am going to draw a target around my self and invite all and sundry to come have a pot-shot. or a shot-put. or whatever. it scares me to think about, so i'm trying not to think about it too much - though the down side to that is, if i don't think about it then i'll never get it written and then i'm so far up effluent creek that i'll probably finish writing the show at approximately 1.10 am the day before opening night. oh well, can't say fairer than that, can you. i worked at the zoo on saturday and that reminds me - i have to fill out my availability for the next three months. anyhoo, shift at the zoo was fun - i finally have a uniform and i think that made me feel a whole lot better about being there. i was at the back gate, and i've noticed the difference in clientelle from the people who use the main gate. rail gate entrants seem to be more your working class type zoo visitors, what with the train and tram stops being just there, and main gate sees your more highbrow type visitors (or at least they'd like to think so). one other time when i was on rail gate duties, a woman sniped as she was leaving, 'what good is it having an elephant enclosure if the bloody thing ain't there when i want to see it?' obviously i smiled and clucked sympathetically, then waited till she was out of earshot before muttering 'that's because it's not a circus, lady. and you're ugly'. on my saturday shift, an indian guy walked past me to leave, then turned and smiled at me and said 'indian?' i seriously had to fight the urge to reply 'oh, alright, but only cause you're buying!', or to look around in an alarmed way and yell 'oh my god! where!?!'. instead i gritted my teeth and said 'yes'. him - 'where you from?'. me - 'fiji'. him - '...'. he said nothing because he'd literally just turned around and walked off. i've come to expect that kind of behaviour from indian-indians. i mean, how could he even hope to compete with the irresistible combination of south pacific charm and indian good looks? if i were him, i would have run away crying like the little girl i was, too.

hmm. i've been mucking around with my website for the past week now... guess who's procrastinating? that'd be me. oh well, might as well do it properly, so why stop typing now? you may or may not have noticed that i have updated the links page (click on yellow flip flops above). i've included links to some of my own writing, and some other blogs and sites that i frequent. i would like to eventually also add a 'pages i've linked to from my blog' section, but not just yet. if i do it all now, what will i have to distract me the next time i need it? last night i placed my first ever international call to new york. a friend of mine has moved there for twelve months to do her masters at nyu. she's living in an apartment in greenwich village. her ex-hairdresser (who is now based in new york) has promised her free haircare for the duration of her stay. the only thing that keeps me from keeling over with jealousy is the fact that her masters is in international taxation law. ooky. i have been promised free floorspace in new york whenever i need it, providing it is within the next twelve months sometime. oh, for a magic carpet right now... last weekend, i finally made that trip to the indian video store and bought myself two three-in-ones for seven dollars each (three-in-ones = two dvds with three movies each on them). mark and i sat down to watch one last night (armed with a martini each), and i knew it was not going to work when mark said (of the main character), 'oh my gourd, he reminds me of your dad'. needless to say, it was all downhill from there.
i got my first printed by-line this week in the flemington-kensington news, a piece called 'this place', about my experiences so far of living in kensington.

i may be hairy, a little insane and occasionally neglected, but i'm also amorous, lucky and double irresistible! if you have no idea what i'm talking about, have a look at the post before this one - because that's what my name acronym generator told me, anyway. i'd like to see *that* on a business card. this weekend, i got sucked in by those poorly-produced television ads and dragged mark to some liquidation sales at the showgrounds. we actually had to pay $4 to park the car. there is something about a warehouse sale that depresses me - i wander around aimlessly, thinking to myself 'is this what my life has come to? scrambling for bargains and queuing for the attention of surly cashiers?'. but i can't help myself, i have to go to them myself and check them out. so i wandered around and picked things up and put them down again, and mark and i decided to get our $4 worth, we would go for a wander and check out some dog shows that were happening nearby. there were shi-tzus, mini border collies and some bulldogs. the mini border collies were the cutest - they looked trapped in puppy-dom. the owners were a whole other kettle of fish, though - if you though 'best in show' was exaggerated, let me tell you, it wasn't. they were all there! i had a reality tv-overload sunday night. even though i'd read that fantasia won american idol, i must admit i got a bit teary when she sang the obligatory inspirational oh-wow-i'm-your-new-idol song. i'm so very, very happy that diana degarmo didn't win. she was cheesier than triple cheese doritos and cutsey-er than minnie mouse on 'e'. and before you start asking why that bothers me so much, let me just remind you - christina, justin and britney started out as mouseketeers. 'nuff said.